Sunday, June 27, 2004

Will You Join My "Party of One?"

Do you have what it takes to be a "Party of One?"

Will you join me in my neverending party?

Will you come home after 48 hours of partying and still go to work?

Will you go to parties well aware that there is a good chance you could end up naked in a pool?

Will you be "that guy" who passes out in a plant?

Will you incessantly try and meet cool girls, knowing that the next morning neither of you will remember eachother's face, much less a name?

If you have what it takes to truly become a "Party of One" I salute and welcome you aboard. It's not an easy life, nor it is a safe one. But the true reward comes in knowing that you stand for the right every person, of every color, race, nationality, religion, and sex to party hard.

Good work soldier.


Can you step? Email me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Farenheit 9/11 Should Be Seen - Just Not by You

I think Michael Moore is a clever liar. Anyone who reads this website knows that. However, he can go and make his crafty movies as long as he likes, and as long as their are assholes like the Weinstein brothers (and these guys are ASSHOLES) to fund his propaganda ridden fictional movies, I encourage him to.

I didn't see Bowling For Columbine basically because I disagreed with his premise - that NRA people are all nuts, the American way is violence etc. etc. etc. Bullshit. I wasn't interested.

His new film I was interested in, and by interested I mean possibly seeing it in theaters... I mean perhaps he had something intelligent to say about the utter failure of American intelligence (CIA, FBI etc.) on 9/11. Turns out, he just takes pot-shots at the Bush administration. Wow. Real creative, Mike.

On top of that, while critics all blow steam up his ass, Michael has formed a committee of lawyers to SUE anyone who disagrees with him or takes issue with his movie. What a pussy. Go shove it up your ass, you anal retentive has been.

Here I'll say it: MICHAEL MOORE IS A BIG FAT STUPID LIAR. Sue me, dickhead.

If this article doesn't convince that YET AGAIN, Michael Moore is lying. I don't know what will.

UPDATE: And apparently since a few people have bitched that the guy who wrote this is too liberal - here's another one from a Newsweek guy who SUPER left of center. Even he can smell the propaganda.

Liberals Hate Michael Moore, too




And it's a shame, because as Mr. Moore so notably mentioned during his Oscar acceptance speech, there isn't a very big market for documentarians and there needs to be a community to support the films they make. Just not one with a liar like Michael Moore in it.

Can you step? Email me.

P.S. I do like Michael Moore's attempts at regular old films. Canadian Bacon is a hysterical, well written movie, written and directed by Moore. I encourage you to see it so we don't have to see his slobbish figure on movie screens anymore. He belongs behind the camera.

P.P.S. Since it's release F 9/11 has made about 20 million bucks, with Moore claiming huge success by having sold out shows everywhere. Well, let's see Mike since you only put it out in A LIMITED NUMBER OF THEATERS of course its going to fucking sell out. Guess what if Spiderman goes on 5 theaters in Phoenix, every fucking show is going to sell out. Additionally, since the movie is full of outright lies and constant manipulations I will not be paying to see it. I am downloading it tonight (with Moore's blessing) and won't mention it again on this site.

Friday, June 18, 2004

15 Reasons To Vote For John Kerry

1. You support the War In Iraq. So does John Kerry.

2. You support Big Oil. John Kerry has 3 SUVs, a private plane and a yacht or two.

3. You don't support Gay Marriage. Neither does John Kerry.

4. You didn't like Operation Desert Storm. Neither did John Kerry.

5. You support slashing the CIA's budget. So does John Kerry.

6. You don't support the Kyoto Treaty. Neither does John Kerry.

7. You support trading with Communist China. So does John Kerry.

8. You support taxing people for getting married. So does John Kerry.

9. You support the Patriot Act. So does John Kerry.

10. You have a manservant. So does John Kerry.

11. You support not attacking the President during times of war. John Kerry did.

12. You don't support the death penalty for terrorists. John Kerry did.

13. You think that Affirmative Action is "inherently limited and divisive." John Kerry does.

14. You believe that abortion should be decided by the states and not federal government. John Kerry does.

15. You support NAFTA and support taxing small businesses and farms. John Kerry does.

This lost could go on forever, but damn I think there are plenty of reasons to vote for John Kerry. WOOOEEE. What a candidate.

Can you step? Email me.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

When In Europe...

2 weeks have gone by and Christ it's good to be back in the US of A.

However, I learned a lot in Europe- like if you were to go to a coffee shop in Amsterdam they wouldn't sell you coffee. They would politely hand you a menu that listed the various type of marijuana products they offer. Or in France it's not polite to look people in the eye as you walk down the street - they think you are senile if you do. Or in Britain where I found out the hard way that to see Harry Potter on a big screen costs twenty fuckin bucks. I have millions of stories, but since a lot of them will be written at a later time (i.e. Why I hate Airports, Why the EU is goddamn awful idea etc.) and the fact that I try to keep my postings away from the usual blog style(which would turn this story into a minute by minute account of my time in Europe) I'll just list some general impressions.

If you want specifics ask me - or better yet, go to fuckin Europe.


Yes, Weed is legal, so are shrooms, but hard drugs are banned, although I sat next to a couple 20 year olds and talked with them about George Bush while they did a line of cocaine.

Also, you aren't allowed to take pictures of prostitutes in the Red Light District. You can have sex with them (no I didn't, nor did my friends to the best of my knowledge) but God forbid you take pictures of them.

The Red Light District is awesome, and you SHOULD see it, but afterwards you need at least 15 showers to rid yourself of the moral depravity you have just witnessed.


Contrary to popular belief most Parisians aren't that rude. They are just pissed off that Americans walk in and expect them to speak English. I would be fuckin pissed if Europeans came into my stores and started spouting off French too. The Louvre was sweet, the Eifel Tower took forever, and the French monarchy were bastards (I learned this at Versaille). Napoleon was SHORT, also kind of a dick.

Paris food is good. Cafes kick ass. Oh and Notre Dame is nice, except when they are building some sort of bullshit stage while you are trying to walk around and every five seconds some French guy cusses and kicks a piece of wood in anger.


London is badass, except for two things:

1. Everyone drives on the left side of the road, causing severe confusing among dumb tourists

2. 1 Pound = 2 American dollars, hence seeing a movie in a famous theater cost me about 20 bucks

I got to drink at a pub with English soccer fans (who are indeed hooligans) and stayed the night in the tower of London- AWESOME.

And then I came home.

Can you step? Email me.

P.S. Make fun of Joe- he flushed his camera down a toilet in Amsterdam