Sunday, June 18, 2006

Things Disney Movies Have Taught Me

Reflecting on Disney's time honored tradition of instilling morals into children through animation, I realized that Disney, was in fact responsible for screwing with my ethical barometer. For instance:


For a hot girl it is okay to do the following: Lie, cheat, steal and listen to your monkey. Also, reckless driving of carpets to impress said girl is encouraged. False personas also equal kissy kissy time with Jasmine.

Above all listen to strange blue men that appear above everyday cups/bowls/other cutlery.

The Little Mermaid

If you hate your life, it is okay to make deals with haughty, fat old women in order to deceive others. Also, Jamaican music is a sure fire way to seduce a partner, provided you can score some lobster.

The Lion King

Confirmed my notion that everyone has a sketchy uncle to be avoided at all costs. The best way of dealing with problems is to run away and sing songs with two stoner buddies. Lastly, communicating to dead people via incoherent mediums is also therapeutic.

There's more, but I've made my point.

Can you step? Email me.