Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Tom Cruise is a Moron

Call me crazy, but when a douchebag hack science fiction writer starts a religion, the first words of my mouth are BULLSHIT.

Welcome to Scientology, the only religion based on NOTHING, that costs upwards of 300,000 dollars to join. I'm not going to waste my fingers sitting here and debunking this crock of shit. (A casual glance at any number of websites can explain to you the depths of mind-numbingly stupid crap these people believe- among them that every human is posessed by aliens.)

Tom Cruise should be shot in the face for joining this cult. Now countless other dumb schmucks will go and get brainwashed because Tom Cruise thinks it's cool. And when I say brainwashed, I'm not dicking around. To become a Scientologist you ahve to sign a release form that allows church officials to hold you "indefinitely" for "therapy."

Wonder why Scarlet Johannsen suddenly dropped out of Mission Impossible 3? The answer is that Captain Crackhead wanted her to come with him to Scientology meeting. Her bullshit detector going off the charts, Johannsen wisely dropped out of the flick.

Whatever, Tom Cruise is a shithead and if I ever make it to Hollywood I'm calling out these dumbasses for what they are- a bunch of namby pamby confused, egotistical shitheads.

Can you step? Email me.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005 Targets Ted Kennedy

In a stunning political disaster accidentally targeted Ted Kennedy by encouraging Democratic supporters to "tell that fat asshole to crawl back into the rich, plush life he came from."

Motivated Dems responded with a flood of email to Kennedy, which was supposed to have been sent to possible Republican 2008 Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich. This mass letter writing was supposed to have kickstarted the Democrats "We Got Our Asses Handed To Us Last Time" grassroots campaign.

Spokespersons for MoveOn responded, "We got the rich, fat white guys confused." Howard Dean immediately pointed out that this illustrated once again that "rich, fat, Christian, white guys, who have never worked a day in their lives belong solely to the Republican party."

Can you step? Email me.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Dean: Hippies Run The Economy

Howard Dean made some surprising comments the other day. "I would make the argument that America is safer when Democrats are in the White House, than when Republicans are in the White House," Dean said in a speech to Democratic supporters. When asked what significant gains were made against Al Qaeda during the Clinton years Dean pointed out that, "President Clinton, a real fighter of the War on Terror, didn't hesitate to bomb an aspirin factory, that could have posed a real threat to America."

Later in his speech, he pointed out that most Republicans, "have never made an honest living in their lives." This in stark contrast to Dean's core group of supporters - hippies. When pressed on this issue Dean struck back, "Hippies are really good at making hemp bracelets. I mean, I would say at least 50% of all hemp in this country is made by hippies... You go ask W if he can make hemp necklaces. I don't think so."

Can you step? Email me.