When In Europe...

2 weeks have gone by and Christ it's good to be back in the US of A.

However, I learned a lot in Europe- like if you were to go to a coffee shop in Amsterdam they wouldn't sell you coffee. They would politely hand you a menu that listed the various type of marijuana products they offer. Or in France it's not polite to look people in the eye as you walk down the street - they think you are senile if you do. Or in Britain where I found out the hard way that to see Harry Potter on a big screen costs twenty fuckin bucks. I have millions of stories, but since a lot of them will be written at a later time (i.e. Why I hate Airports, Why the EU is goddamn awful idea etc.) and the fact that I try to keep my postings away from the usual blog style(which would turn this story into a minute by minute account of my time in Europe) I'll just list some general impressions.

If you want specifics ask me - or better yet, go to fuckin Europe.

Amsterdam

Yes, Weed is legal, so are shrooms, but hard drugs are banned, although I sat next to a couple 20 year olds and talked with them about George Bush while they did a line of cocaine.

Also, you aren't allowed to take pictures of prostitutes in the Red Light District. You can have sex with them (no I didn't, nor did my friends to the best of my knowledge) but God forbid you take pictures of them.

The Red Light District is awesome, and you SHOULD see it, but afterwards you need at least 15 showers to rid yourself of the moral depravity you have just witnessed.

Paris

Contrary to popular belief most Parisians aren't that rude. They are just pissed off that Americans walk in and expect them to speak English. I would be fuckin pissed if Europeans came into my stores and started spouting off French too. The Louvre was sweet, the Eifel Tower took forever, and the French monarchy were bastards (I learned this at Versaille). Napoleon was SHORT, also kind of a dick.

Paris food is good. Cafes kick ass. Oh and Notre Dame is nice, except when they are building some sort of bullshit stage while you are trying to walk around and every five seconds some French guy cusses and kicks a piece of wood in anger.

London

London is badass, except for two things:

1. Everyone drives on the left side of the road, causing severe confusing among dumb tourists

2. 1 Pound = 2 American dollars, hence seeing a movie in a famous theater cost me about 20 bucks

I got to drink at a pub with English soccer fans (who are indeed hooligans) and stayed the night in the tower of London- AWESOME.

And then I came home.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com

P.S. Make fun of Joe- he flushed his camera down a toilet in Amsterdam