Barbara Boxer Vs. Dr. Condoleeza Rice: An Objective Analysis

Barbara Boxer
Is Jewish.

VS.

Condoleeza Rice
Childhood friend killed by white supremicists at age 8.


Barbara Boxer
A bachelor's degree earned at Brooklyn College.

VS.

Condoleeza Rice
At 19, Rice earned her bachelor's degree in political science, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University of Denver in 1974.

In 1975, she obtained her master's degree from the University of Notre Dame.

In 1981 she received her Ph.D. from the Graduate School of International Studies at the University of Denver. In addition to English, she speaks Russian, French, and Spanish.

Barbara Boxer
Has held two real world jobs: a journalist position and as a stockbroker.

VS.


Condoleeza Rice
At Stanford University, Rice is a tenured Professor of Political Science, Senior Fellow of the Institute for International Studies, and a Fellow (by courtesy) of the Hoover Institution.

From 1993 to July 1, 1999 she served as the Stanford Provost--serving as chief budget and academic officer of the university. In June 2003, Rice delivered the commencement address at Stanford.

Rice is a Fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and has been awarded honorary doctorates from Morehouse College in 1991, the University of Alabama in 1994, the University of Notre Dame in 1995, the Mississippi College School of Law in 2003, the University of Louisville and Michigan State University in 2004.

Barbara Boxer
Has done nothing but politics for a quarter century. As a Senator has
A. voted to increase taxes on a consistent basis
B. bitched about everything President Bush has done, thought about or dreamed about
C. had an annoying voice

VS.

First female to become National Security Advisor. Only second African American to become Secretary of State (after Colin Powell).

Conclusion

I loudly and emphatically urge Barbara Boxer to shut the fuck up. Condoleeza Rice could bitch slap her across at least 2 continents (possibly 3).

Also, I encourage California voters to punch themselves in the face.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com

The Reason I Bought My AK-47

Bring it on RIAA. Pansies.

This is why I own a gun.

Copyright infringement my ass. My little friend and I beg to differ...

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com

If TiVo Has Changed Your Life, Your Life Sucks

Does anyone really believe the people in the TiVo infomercials? The seemingly endless line of morons who each claim that TiVo has dramatically altered their being. If these people aren't paid actors, then dear God, America is heading for the shitter.

If being able to watch all six episodes of Newlyweds a week makes your life complete, I encourage you to jump off the nearest building. Remember to jump off floors 8 and above, otherwise you might just break a leg or something.

The only useful thing TiVo could provide to me is being able to watch South Park without commercials. Oh and Family Guy when it comes back in March.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com

Bush Caused the Tsunamis

Since the rest of liberal America has yet to jump on this bandwagon, let me get it out in the open: BUSH CAUSED THE TSUNAMIS. If we had all listened to the movie Day After Tomorrow, which CLEARLY depicted huge goddamn waves destroying cities and had a President that looked a lot like Bush doing nothing, maybe, maybe this could have been avoided. When will everyday Americans learn that Hollywood knows best? As if we didn't blow it enough after Fahrenheit 9/11 proved that Bush was a war criminal and was clearly going to bring about the Armageddon. We all owe Michael Moore an apology.

But back to the tsunamis. Even after Hollywood gave us all the warning signs that conservative scientists across the world refused to, everyone just kept riding in their SUVs, polluting the mother earth god spirit, until she got angry. Now, don't ask me to explain the complex physics of global warming causing an earthquake- all I know is that had Bush, instead of giving Americans tax cuts all the time, taken that money and given it to a noble and trusted organization like the the U.N., whom would definitely not spend it on frivolous things like a war for oil, I think this whole tsunami thing could have been avoided.

Kofi Annan would spend it on building regimes in the Middle East and protesting America. Kofi Annan would spend it on things like giving U.N. leaders a ski trip to Jackson Hole to relieve the stress of running such an important organization. Things I think we all can agree need to be encouraged.

So the next time Uncle Sam gives you a tax break, give him the finger. Send that check to the U.N. care of Kofi Annan. Kofi will know that your money needs to support movies like The Day After Tomorrow and solid peace ventures like the Oil For Food program.

Screw Bush. Support Kofi.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com