Pepper Spray In San Diego

"I'm sorry I sprayed MACE into your eyes Meaghan. I didn't mean to."

If you happen to be a Scottsdale girl, and you happen to carry MACE in your purse, I suggest you hide it in a better place than your purse, because God knows some guy is going to get curious, pull it out and attempt to spray it in your general direction.

How do I know this?

Stephen Shanley.

Stephen, in his wisdom, while waiting in line at Seaworld (which used to maintain a family friendly environment until the two of us showed up) held up his sister's MACE and said "I wonder if this works" and then casually pulled the trigger in the general direction of his sister's face. Hilarity, and by hilarity I mean really-funny-but-you-feel-shitty-laughing hilarity ensued. Meaghan freaked and started running around half blind and was asked by a security guard quote "Are you okay?" to which she replied "YEEEAARGHGHFGHFD." Which was apparently enough to satisfy this security guard who probably thought that Meaghan was the spawn of satan, having gone blood red, foaming at the mouth and speaking in tongues.

Needless to say, she recovered, Stephen was sorry, and we went to Seaworld, the biggest cash cow in the entire UNIVERSE. 50 bucks to get in, 7 bucks for a Coke, 2 bucks for a refill, 10 bucks for a burrito. AND THEN. AND THEN ON TOP OF THIS....

THEY CHARGE YOU TO DO THEIR SHITWORK. Instead of having to feed their own fucking dolphins, they just charge unassuming tourists 4 bucks to go throw fish at dolphins. These guys are brilliant. Oh and then they drop water on your ass so you are cold as shit, so you have to buy one of their 20 dollar t-shirts. HENCE, I am now the proud owner of a Bud Light T-Shirt.

I hope Shamu eats an executive. I would pay to see that.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com