Intoxicated Golf is Probably Better than Bowling

I have decided that golfing is not a sport- my criteria being that if being drunk can make you a better player at said sport, than it's probably more of a hobby. Bowling is another example of this. However, my discovery was not an intentional scientific experiment. I was golfing with my dad and 2 of his friends and we were about 5 holes in. Then one of my dad's friends turned to me and the following conversation ensued:

Dad's Friend: Are you 21?
Greg: No.
Dad's Friend: Are you in college?
Greg: No, I'm a senior in high school.
Dad's Friend: Close enough, drink these two vodka bottles.
Greg looks perplexed.
Dad's Friend: I really want to beat you.

He was obviously tipsy in order to make such an offer, but nonetheless, I took him up on it. Much to his surprise the drinks actually made me play better. I fell into a sand trap, but dammit I was hitting the ball straight. Or hitting one of the three balls I was seeing straight. All I know is that by the time the buzz was wearing off I was shooting crappy again.

So if you are golfing and need to impress someone, consider getting drunk. And then consider driving the golf cart to scare the shit out of them.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com