Replace Torture With Country Karaoke

I think with all the hubbabaloo (neat word) about torture and the U.S. that everyone just needs to take a step back and realize, that I, Greg Dunaway, have found a MUCH, MUCH worse torture than putting a hood on some Iraqi's head.

Two Words: Country Karaoke

Last week I found myself in possibly the worst situation of my life: I was eating bad BBQed chicken, and was being forced to listen to drunk hillbillies belt out country songs. Worst of all, there were no lethal weapons around to either 1. kill myself and/or 2. kill the bastard who was singing.

Now obviously country music is terrible on its own, but coupled with some asshole who thinks he can pull some hick accent (example: I lost my daaaawwwwwwggg), this bullshit was killing me.

Some of you may be asking "Greg, how did you end up in this god awful situation?" Well, I'll tell you, those bastards deceived my family by saying "Live Music Tonight." Now I guess in some states (i.e. CA), karaoke qualifies as music, BUT EVERYWHERE ELSE IT QUALIFIES AS BULLSHIT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR, MUCH LESS BE SUBJECTED TO WHILE EATING DINNER.

If you think country karaoke is cool, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you also think that wearing sleeveless shirts is "tight" and that Kenny Rogers is an American hero. You probably also get drunk a lot, but not because you want to party, but because you saw Chuck Norris get smashed on Texas Rangers.

I hate you all.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com