Executive vs. Executive - Whoever Wins We Lose

I don't know how studio executives function, it is my personal belief that they all had a collective lobotomy. I saw Aliens Vs. Predator with my father (who was mildly excited because as he put it "how could they screw this up?") Enter Paul W.S. Anderson.

What bothers me about Mr. Anderson is that I actually enjoyed Mortal Kombat, I didn't think Soldier was that bad of a movie and I have heard that Event Horizon and Resident Evil weren't that bad (however the sequel, which he wrote, looks totally shitty). However, after seeing AvP I may have to go back and watch them again just to ensure I wasn't on prescription pills when I saw them.

Aliens Vs. Predator is like a really hot girl who you are excited about, but then she won't shut up and has an IQ of maybe 5. AvP's story is all at once ridiculous, stupid and terrible.

I would have been okay with some guy on a street going, "Oh shit there's a Predator.... Oh shit there's an Alien... Ow, they both killed me, but shit they are gonna fight. AWESOME."

INSTEAD we get a bunch of babble from terrible actors about Mayans and Cambodians and communists and hippies etc. Even the toddler next to me was bored to tears. I think someone fell asleep and just let the stupid Italian actor improv lines about ancient hieroglyphics. "Dees one is maybe about chosen people or a flower, I'ma not sure becausa I failed collegea." At least he got shot.

I can just see the studio meeting before this ever got started:

Executive: Has anyone read the script?
::silence::
Executive: Does anyone know who Paul W.S. Anderson is?
::silence::
Executive: Does anyone care? COULD YOU STOP COUNTING YOUR FREDDY VS. JASON CASH?

Guaranteed none of those assholes had even seen Alien or Predator.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com

P.S. On a lighter note - a friend made a comic with me in it. Enjoy.