Movies Are Getting Worse Or My Tastes Are Getting Better

It's been a while since I have seen a really good movie, and I'm starting to get pissed off because movie tickets are goddamn expensive. Let's review.

The Punisher - Weak. Travolta is terrible, the neighbor characters are stupid, fat and ditzy (respectively), and the movie feels like it was made over 3 years with enough stupid footage about characters who are gay, wives who are or are not cheating that at some point you want to get up and yell STOP PUNISHING ME WITH YOUR USELESS BULLSHIT AND KILL SOMEONE!

Hellboy - Interesting idea, kinda weird, but going in I thought- this could be cool. It wasn't. Bad dialogue plus stupid villains equals another bad movie. The ending alone is so bad that my friends and I were laughing out loud. NOTE TO DIRECTORS: When the audience laughs at your climax- RE-WRITE YOUR SCRIPT. Let's see two cool comic book ideas fucked up by Hollywood. What's next...

Man on Fire - Now this movie was OKAY. Denzel was awesome, but the problem was.... you guessed it.. THE DIRECTOR. Let's see, if my name is Tony Scott and my brother is Ridley Scott (Gladiator director) and I have no talent, should I rip off my brother? YES. I actually said out loud by accident "Move the fuck along Tony" with his useless camera angle bullshit and neverending side plots.

Now this brings me to my point. The Three Essential Ingredients to the Revenge Movie

1. A pissed off main character, who isn't afraid to blow shit up, and isn't crying all the time and DOES NOT FALL IN LOVE.

2. A hot girl, (i.e. The Girl Next Door), who kinda runs around in skimpy clothing EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE. She may or may not say anything, but if she does its quick and doesn't piss me off.

3. A villain who makes me shit my pants. None of this typical whiny I am an asshole but try to understand me villainy, how about "I AM AN ASSHOLE, BRING IT ON PUSSY." That's a villain. If he can't twist your neck off in one try, he doesn't belong on screen.

And to be honest, most revenge movies are shitty anyways.

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hckyfn15@aol.com