The NBA Is Boring and The Players Are Sissies

About a week and a half ago, my friend Sparling took me to an NBA game. I hadn't been to one in about four years- and now I know why. The NBA is possibly the most expensive exercise is dullness that man has created. The players don't give a shit, the fans don't give a shit (they sit there in silence for 3/4 of the game, applauding mindlessly), and goddammit even the Suns gorilla didn't give a shit. The most exciting thing to happen was for a hot cheerleader to walk by.

I happened to have great seats, like 11th row and I think being closer to the game made it MORE boring. I could actually see the apathetic look on the player's faces as they watched the time tick by. The coach had a little fire under HIS ass because his ass is going to get canned because the Suns blow nuts. So he was flippin out as the Suns players sat and wondered if they were going to miss the Late Show. Oh and about the sissy part. This one guy does a lay up, trips and falls and then walks around IN AGONY because he jammed his finger. The Suns fans gave him a standing ovation. I laughed at him.

If my coach EVER heard about my crying about a jammed finger in hockey, my ass would ride the bench for the rest of the year. Look at the NHL, those motherfuckers GET STITCHES, STITCHES on the bench and get their asses back in the game. Stitches would be an emergency room trip, coupled with emergency press conferences and crying and flowers for the pussies in the NBA. In the NHL, stitches are a 15 second surgery performed on the bench. Not a highlight on Sportscenter.

Oh, I hope that TNN or Spike TV or whoever the fuck owns that one channel brings back that trampoline basketball. THAT SHIT KICKED ASS. You could check people into the boards and do dunks from half court. That is fucking basketball dammit. Not a bunch of wannabe gangsters who are asleep for 3 quarters and then half ass their way to the buzzer.


Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com