Chances Are You Suck

My friend Taylor, who has the only blog on the entire web I actually read, wrote an article about how to start blogs. In response, (because I am on the lookout for your intellectual well-being) I am now going to write an article entitled- "How To Realize What Everyone Else Already Knows- Your Blog Sucks."

And I when I say write an article- I mean like 2 or so pissed off paragraphs because its 1AM and I am tired.

Alright, Step One- Recognizing Your Shittiness-

Do you find yourself having to ask people to read your shit constantly? And do you find them coming up with excuses like-
Uhh, I would but the news just came on and I think someone I know was shot. Or how about this- do you ever find yourself writing "Well, this might seem stupid, but I am going to write it anyway?" GUESS WHAT- You're right IT IS BORING and NO ONE CARES. Lastly- do you ever whine and bitch about stupid shit like "My mom yelled at me today" Yes?? Well your blog probably sucks. Scratch that- I can tell you- YOUR BLOG SUCKS.

Second Step (or Step Two for those of us who are already lost)- Apologizing to the World-
Like a criminal, you must pay for your crimes, and after having determined your shittiness- you must say your sorry. I suggest the following message:

Dear World,

It has come to my attention that my Blog has about as much to say as Barbara Streisand does about ANYTHING. Furthermore, I have realized that I am as just about as important as a Democratic Presidential candidate and am sorry for any discomfort, sadness, or involuntary vomiting upon keyboard that may have resulted due to my shitty, shitty, shitty excuse for a blog. If you see me, please hit me in the face. Twice.

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com