Airports are hellholes

I'm shit tired and I actually had something else really funny to write about, but I forgot. So anyway I went to Kansas City to play hockey, and on my way, God gave me a revelation- airports are orgies of ineptitude. Take security for example.

Security Man: Okay, young man, remove your shoes.
Me: Oh, did they have metal in them?
Security Man: No.
Me: So I am removing them because....
Security Man: Are you causing trouble?

I gave up at this point. Furthermore, even before I had gotten to this pit of despair, I had sat in line for an hour. Just then a startling announcement came on to fill us in on the delay-

"Would all passengers please head towards the nearest security checkpoint."

OH NO SHIT??!! REALLY? Is that where we are supposed to go, because I was just minutes away from moseying on over to the runway and commandeering a ramp and hauling my ass on board.

Turns out some guy had walked through security and set off the metal detector and no one had examined him. So, logically, we had to evacuate the entire terminal.

I know how to fix our airport security- how about we stick a huge ass marine in front of the cock pit door with a fucking AK-47.

Marine: "Yew come near this door, and I shoot ya."


hckyfn15@aol.com