Greg's YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT Guide to Voting

Note: This mostly applies to Floridians. If you guys fuck up again, you're out. Seriously, I say we give you away to Cuba. So pay attention.

Electronic Voting

This is so dumbass proof I'm surprised we let it into our voting system. I think you should have to earn it when you vote. There should be a maze you have to successfully navigate before you can vote, filled with man eating rabbits and stuff. But that's neither here nor there. The issue is pushing a goddamn button next to the idiot you want elected. I've illustrated it for you below:

Paper Ballot

A little harder because it actually requires you to pick up a pencil. Ridiculous. You should have to slay a dragon, not pick up a pen. Dammit we had to fight off a whole British Empire to earn the right to elect idiots like Kerry to the Office of the President. Anyway, this is also idiot proof.

If you can't handle either of these two systems you should be sent to Europe, where voting doesn't matter because everything is socialist.

One last reminder: REMEMBER IF YOU'RE VOTING BECAUSE MTV TOLD YOU TO, DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SHOOT YOURSELF ON ELECTION DAY.

Hurray for the U.S.!!

Can you step? Email me.
hckyfn15@aol.com