Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Why you can shove your cell phone up your butt

First off before a million people go off on me for labeling all cell phone users as arrogant, inconsiderate assholes- actually you are all assholes so no big deal.

I was among friends tonight at a pizza place, and as we sat down I noticed that could count the number of cell phones being handled/talked on/ on two hands and there were only eight people at our freakin table.

Anyway, as we sat through dinner and a relative lack of any social communication I began to put two and two together. People are so fucking accustomed to their technology and their computer screens that it becomes so awkward just to sit around a table and talk, that people have to play goddamn videogames to pass the time before their food gets there. Jesus God. What the hell is the point of spending time together if every other minute someone is getting up to go talk on a cell phone with someone else? What the hell happened to decent conversation? Every time I am talking with someone and I see them grab for their phone and say "Just one sec" I want to punch them in the face, take their cell phone, smash it and then watch them cry. They probably would need counseling.

Idiot: And then this guy named Greg he took my cell phone.
Counselor: And what did Greg do?
Idiot: Well then, ::sob::, he.... he....
Counselor: Just come out and say it.
Idiot: He turned it off. Oh God!!
Counselor: Thats terrible... Oh lets have a hug... Greg will never turn it off again. He is a bad person.
Idiot: And, whats worst is that... is that... I couldn't hear my lame ass 50 Cent ring for a whole minute.

At this point I would come storming into the room, punch the counselor, steal the cell phone, run outside drop kick the cell phone, and laugh. And then I would go back in and slap each of them again. Twice.

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